Found at Sexe, love et gaudriole, the mysterious Maison Close. Or not so mysterious: it’s a fledgling high-end Parisian lingerie company that supplies boutiques worldwide, and is readying to open a brick-and-mortar store in Paris. I know, it’s just me showing you that I found more agonizingly beautiful yet totally expensive stuff, but there’s something about window shopping expensive sex goods that is very satisfying. Their Flash-tastic site doesn’t have a shop yet but it’s packed with eye candy, like this video:

Image of men’s underwear ad “JBS Nun” was sniffing the goods, via PDesai21.

While you were reading about my vague evil, manlybits were swung about. Fruit flies put the “B” in LGBT. A lame duck porn law was tossed out like an old Hustler. many discoveries were made, like sex positions for singles, and robot masturbators went into beta testing. I know, it’s all too good to be true — except it is. And hey — they tell me that well-behaved women rarely make history. Enjoy!

* Pornographic biology is really the best kind. Read the first part of Bisexuality in Drosophila to get all h-h-hot and bothered. (thanks, Praemedia!)

* Cyberbullying is becoming a crime, to the relief of many (of us). Check out Missouri governor signs Internet harassment bill to see the direction this is heading. (thanks, Ariel!)

* Many of you know I’ve been an editor and contributor at Fleshbot since 2005; right now, my fellow Fleshbotette Lux is on a campaign to provide readers with exactly the porn they want to see. I know, it’s unheard of! This week she’s fulfilling a terrific reader request in Small Boobs Need Love Too. Yay for the itty bitty titty committee!

* Also on my other bloghome away from home, pal sturtle points us to a very entertaining collection of condom ads from around the world. He writes that condom ads used to hard to, erm, come by but “Today, however, you can’t swing your manlybits without hitting at least half a dozen ads in print, broadcast, and web form.” Please do be careful when you swing the bits, dear readers. This proves that you never know what you might hit.

* A while back I wrote about the new Indiana law that required bookstores and other retailers to register with the state and pay a $250 fee if they want to sell “sexually explicit material”. Evil! Good thing a federal judge thinks it’s a bad idea, too — read Judge throws out law making bookstores pay fine to sell porn and smile along with me…

* Something for everyone: a photo exhibition of 80 Sex Positions for Singles, via Sex and Blogs.

* Some people have all the luck. Over at Booksaga: Adventures in the Book Trade, Perry Falwell writes of a very unusual find (with image). Perry met a woman while shopping for books in a Goodwill, and the woman talked him into coming over and buying about 100 books from her, belonging to her deceased husband. When he got them home, he discovered that some of them were hollow, with oodles of porny Polaroids inside. (via Viviane)

* In sex toy robot news, qDot tells us that if we want the chance to be “part of the first wave to fall to our new penis crawling donut overlords” then those with penises should not hesitate to sign up for beta testing of the Rubbot. The designers over at rubbot.com have just announced that they have reached their beta phase, and they’re recruiting. Wow, donuts?

* Thanks to Bacchus and Sexoteric for the link: The Science Of Bad Boys features an article in New Science discussing scientific proof that bad boys really do get laid more. They’re still douchier than the rest, but you know, that whole “bad boy” thing… Hm.

Fire dancer

Ever feel that, y’know, burning sensation… down there?

Credit to Leslie for the pic.

If the radiance of a thousand suns were to burst at once into the sky, that would be like the splendor of the mighty one. Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.

You would think we’d done something wrong, sociopathic even. I had to check my calendar to verify that it was indeed 2008 and I hadn’t come unstuck in time. I had to check my surroundings to be sure I really was in New York and not Topeka.

Our date was a handful, that’s true, but our canoodling, I think, wasn’t shocking enough to warrant anything more than a slightly raised eyebrow. The straights, after all, flaunt their straightness at every opportunity. Turnabout is fair play.

Oh but the ladies and their dagger eyes; the gentlemen and their creepy stares.

My girls, bless their big hearts, didn’t seem to notice. But it was the Bad Man’s local watering hole and he was getting a lecture from one of the staff (who so obviously wanted to fuck him she may as well have been wearing a sandwich board covered in bright bold lettering: PLEASE BANG MY BOX BAD MAN!).

Later on, when I made an innocuous remark about Chemistry, one of the aforementioned leering gentlemen turned to me. “Dude, you have to stop talking… you’re killing me.” He went on and on about how I was harshing on his Weltanschauung.

Maybe Madonna had been right about New York. Maybe this town has lost its edge. I know I didn’t come to this glittering, boozy playground to surround myself with the kind of people who think a wild night out is having one strawberry daiquiri too many at the Times Square Applebees.

But I also enjoy doing normal things — watching sports, playing sports, hosting civilized cocktail parties, drinking too much and going home with my wife — so I’ve tried to tone myself down around normal people. Not that they make it easy. Civilians, you see, love to talk about sex as much as they loathe to admit they have sex. Civilian females love to flirt with married men. One slip of the tongue and now I am become Sex, the destroyer of worlds.

. . .

· 熟女-少男(俄罗斯) 43歲 N (megarotic.com)

Some of it is sexy, while some of it we'd be happy to burn—thereby saving the world from bad fashion and exercising our First Amendment rights at the same time. (Who says we can't multitask on a holiday?) So while the flocks in Paris swelter at the couture shows, we're taking you on a far more comfortable survey of nationalist beach togs. Pack the sunscreen and some extra Dramamine for the ride.

. . . . .

Yeah, this was the first thing that popped up in our search. And on the surface, it seems okay. That star, those colors—-there's patriotism aplenty, but it certainly ain't swimwear. We know there are people who wear underwear to the pool in lieu of a tasteful square-cut or board short, but we hope you aren't among them. We'd rather you go nude. (But then, we'd always rather you go nude.)

. . . . .

The unusual look of this tiny garment is more than enough to attract attention, to say the least. On the upside, it looks kind of comfy, and it's probably easy to get out of quickly (which is always a bonus in our book). On the downside, the tan line it leaves behind has to be weird. The design is also clearly Japanese-inspired—and what do you think this is, Japan Day? Disqualified!

. . . . .

This one may seem pretty innocuous, but look closer. Can you see it? There's newsprint on that bathing suit! Do you want complete strangers looking that closely at your junk? (Well, of coures you do ... but not reading it.)

. . . .

Here's a milquetoast-y option for the patriotically inclined. Standard theme, standard cut—in fact, the only reason we've included it here is the model, who looks vaguely familiar. We can't quite place the face, but we never forget a bulge.

. . . .

This may look like yet another stars-and-stripes bikini, but there's something sinister going on here. Can you spot it? That's right: it's French-cut. We suppose we could re-brand it as the "Freedom Cut", but that seems like a lot of trouble to go through for fashion that isn't all that threatening to begin with.

. . . . .

And here, loyal readers, we have that patriotic suspender look, for that sexy Atticus Finch in all of us. After all—what better way is there to celebrate all the liberties we enjoy as a nation by exercising your right to look like a refugee from a reagan-era Chippendales show?

. . .

· Students Wild Orgy in Classroom (megarotic.com)

Miyu Sakurai (jheat.com)

Monique Alexander

Justine Joli

Kimberly Kane

Anna Logue

Mayhem (burningangel.com)

Ariel Rebel (coedcherry.com)

Stoya

Charlie Laine (galleries.danni.com)

Brandi Belle

· Images via Ask Jolene and KellyFind